Below I share some Unrealistic Expectations I have noticed I have in my life. Unrealistic expectations bring unneeded disappointments in life. Hope you find it useful too.
#1: Life should be fair.
Life is not fair. For the lion cubs to be alive, some other animal will have to die to feed it?
#2: I must be happy all the time. Being unhappy is BAD.
Don’t have this belief that we must always be happy. Who told you that?
Being happy is not the only emotions in life, and there are more events, instances for us to experience unhappiness. Rather then chasing happines, learn to appreciate whatever emotions you have at THIS moment.
Read about Mindfulness. Emotions are like passing clouds, don’t hold on, and don’t chase after.
#3: Everyone should like me.
If you line up all the people in your life and I ask them, do you seriously think that they ALL like you? Is it possible? Do you like ALL expect of your parents, partner or friends?
Don’t think so, It’s OK to not like certain expect of others.. so it’s not realistic to have the expectation that everyone should like you.
#4: I am special.
We are unique individuals, but … how special? Everyone think we are special, then its not that special.
#5: Everything I want in life will happen. I don’t have to put in effort for it.
Yeah, Just WISH and PRAY for things to happen? I wish I have 6 pec, but if I don’t work out and watch my diet, it will not happen. We want that, we must pay the price.
The thing about prayer.. do we pray for things because to suit our preferences, or hope we think Life SHOULD be? or are we praying to change our attitude to learn to accept situations? Something like, Job 1:21?
#6: People SHOULD understand me!
Do you understand other people? Thats how misunderstanding and lots of pain arises. How are you communicating?
#7: Happiness (or other emotions) should/will last forever.
#8: Things will be the same as it is permanently.
Nothing in life is forever. We grow old day by day.. Things are always changing.. Either growing older, bigger, weaker, stronger, slower or faster.. The only constant is change.
Our emotions changes from one moment to one moment.
The people in your life will not be there forever. Don’t wait till they are gone.. it will be too late. Tell your parents you love them already?
#9: Whatever I feel or think, must be true.
If i say “I will win lottery today” everyone will laugh and wish it happen. If i say “I will get into an accident today“, people usually say TOUCHWOOD! Won’t happen..
Please, know that your thoughts are always in our head.. but they are only thoughts! There are no power to our thoughts unless we cannot let them go, and become “fused” with our thoughts.
Instead of “I feel unworthy”, learn to recongise that “I have a THOUGHT, or a FEELING that say ‘I am unworthy”. Put some distant between YOU and your thoughts. This is what i learn in ACT
Please share with me if you have learnt otherr unrealistic expectations do you have about life?